August Break 2013 ... Yellow

August Break 2013 ... Love

A new beginning

Here I am!
I'm crazy, I'm fun! I'm the life of the party!
I sparkle and twinkle in the crowd,
I'm red!
You can see me clearly now ...
And I can hide.

The most delicate part of me
is solitary,
in a place of fear.

Yearning to connect and
know the sigh of ahhh...

And yet all hope of connecting is destroyed in this fearful place.

Leaning into curiosity and empathy and honesty and
realising I am not alone in my fear
will release mm being to struggle out into discomfort

To join with you in learning.

Ten Things You May Not Know About Me

1. I had my tonsils out when I was 4 years old.
2. My mother came to school for 6 weeks to have lunch with me when I started school.
3. I spent 6 months in Prep and 6 months in Grade 1 during my first year of school.
4. I lied to my friends in primary school and told them I had a baby brother - Peter Robert - I was consumed with guilt for years!
5. I changed schools in Year 11 and was desperately unhappy for a long time.
6. In Year 11 I got 48% for Maths in June and it was suggested I drop this subject - I did!
7. I loved acting in the annual productions of our Youth Group.
8. I finally got my driver's license on the 3rd try.
9. I was threatened with suspension in Year 8.
10. I've always thought of myself as overweight.

Have you 10 things to share with me that I might not know?

Epicure

Five of us around the crisp, white tablecloth,
Smiling, laughing, loving for so long.
One tentatively tastes Friday's gateway to freedom,
Two slowly sips her son's wedding,
Three chokes with exhaustion and the unnecessary medication,
Four nibbles with delight on skyping her son and his new German family,
And five gulps down their love and warm familiarity.
Five of us swaddled in the bon vivant of our shared motherhood.

My Dance of Shame

Tip toeing and gentle nudging
Softly agreeing and smilingly attending.
(Please, please ... like me)

Deferring and nodding
While silently screaming,
'Do it my way!'
(Please, please ... like me)
So obsequious that even I don't like me.
But ... then you smile and I'm pretty sure you like me.

Upright, strong and solid, I protect myself.
I can't do anything about this,
It's not for me to do anything about this,
It's not for me to do something about this
There's no point in me changing, so I won't.
It's your problem, you fix it, you do it.
(and then, maybe ... I'll like you.)

Autumn

Soft vibrance and gentle forgiveness,
Clear eyed and wise.
Wrapped in memories of Spring's newness and Summer's heat
Reveling in the freedom of the paradox of life and death,
Living in the moment and watching
The disturbing and joyful changes in her life.